{"id":3539,"date":"2019-02-15T16:25:53","date_gmt":"2019-02-15T15:25:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nouveauxperes.enconstruction.website\/?p=3539"},"modified":"2019-02-15T16:25:53","modified_gmt":"2019-02-15T15:25:53","slug":"petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nouveauxperes.com\/en\/petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Petit lexique du nouveau p\u00e8re – Tome 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

L\u2019arriv\u00e9e d’un b\u00e9b\u00e9 n\u00e9cessite l\u2019utilisation d\u2019un vocabulaire tr\u00e8s technique que peu d\u2019hommes ma\u00eetrisent. Pour vous \u00e9viter d\u2019avoir l\u2019air fou, messieurs, nous vous avons d\u00e9j\u00e0 propos\u00e9 le petit lexique du nouveau p\u00e8re<\/a>. Fort de son succ\u00e8s, nous vous revenons aujourd’hui avec le tome 2.<\/p>\n

Vous allez voir : parler en papa, c\u2019est un jeu d\u2019enfant.<\/p>\n

Cache-couche<\/h3>\n

Mix entre un t-shirt et des bobettes qui ne cache pas la couche tant que \u00e7a.<\/p>\n

Dormeuse<\/h3>\n

Mix entre une salopette et un sleeping bag qui n\u2019aide pas \u00e0 dormir tant que \u00e7a.<\/p>\n

Lingettes humides<\/h3>\n

M\u00e9thode polluante pour nettoyer les fesses de votre b\u00e9b\u00e9, mais tellement efficace qu\u2019on soup\u00e7onne bien des membres de Greenpeace de l\u2019utiliser.<\/p>\n

Mobile<\/h3>\n

Objet fixe dans lequel tu accroches \u00e0 l\u2019occasion ton b\u00e9b\u00e9 en le d\u00e9posant dans sa couchette.<\/p>\n

Mont\u00e9e laiteuse<\/h3>\n

Moment tr\u00e8s attendu o\u00f9 les quotas de lait de maman explosent. Adieu la gestion de l\u2019offre.<\/p>\n

Tablier d\u2019allaitement<\/h3>\n

Morceau de tissu permettant aux femmes d\u2019allaiter en public tout en se cachant. La burqa des mamans.<\/p>\n

Porte-b\u00e9b\u00e9<\/h3>\n

Sac permettant de porter b\u00e9b\u00e9 tout en lib\u00e9rant les mains. Les mains libres serviront \u00e0 vous masser le dos, parce qu\u2019un porte-b\u00e9b\u00e9, c\u2019est dur sur les reins\u2026<\/p>\n

Vernix<\/h3>\n

Liquide blanch\u00e2tre recouvrant la peau du nouveau-n\u00e9 et rappelant la wax, utilis\u00e9e pour faire des slides en skateboard.<\/p>\n

Liquide amniotique<\/h3>\n

\u00ab Eaux \u00bb dans l\u2019expression \u00ab Perdre ses eaux. \u00bb<\/p>\n

Pompier<\/h3>\n

Lorsque gar\u00e7on profite d\u2019une inattention de son parent pour uriner sans couche. Ils ont tendance \u00e0 viser les yeux et la bouche de leur assaillant. Faites gaffe.<\/p>\n

Pompi\u00e8re<\/h3>\n

Pompier f\u00e9minin. Moins dangereux pour les yeux de papa, mais plus grand risque que b\u00e9b\u00e9 mouille son pyjama jusque dans le haut du dos.<\/p>\n

Amniotest<\/h3>\n

Q-tip \u00e0 fourche permettant de d\u00e9partager le liquide amniotique des pertes vaginales.<\/p>\n

P\u00e9ridurale<\/h3>\n

Voir \u00e9pidurale<\/p>\n

\u00c9pidurale<\/h3>\n

Voir p\u00e9ridurale<\/p>\n

Effacement du col<\/h3>\n

Amincissement du cadre de porte.<\/p>\n

Dilatation du col<\/h3>\n

Ouverture de la porte, ou comme dirait un gars du Lac-Saint-Jean : Quand la trail commence \u00e0 se taper.<\/em><\/p>\n

Pr\u00e9sentation en si\u00e8ge<\/h3>\n

La position optimale pour s\u2019expulser est le plongeon. La pr\u00e9sentation en si\u00e8ge, c\u2019est quand b\u00e9b\u00e9 d\u00e9cide de faire une \u00ab bombe \u00bb.<\/p>\n

P\u00e9riode d\u2019\u00e9veil<\/h3>\n

Moment magique o\u00f9 vous avez vos premi\u00e8res interactions avec votre b\u00e9b\u00e9. Notez bien que la plus belle des p\u00e9riodes d\u2019\u00e9veil n\u2019est jamais aussi satisfaisante qu\u2019une bonne p\u00e9riode de sommeil.<\/p>\n

Colique<\/h3>\n

Mal de ventre g\u00e9n\u00e9rant des pleurs tr\u00e8s intenses. Aussi une alternative polie du mot \u00ab c\u00e2lisse \u00bb. D\u2019ailleurs, l\u2019un donne souvent envie de dire l\u2019autre.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

L\u2019arriv\u00e9e d’un b\u00e9b\u00e9 n\u00e9cessite l\u2019utilisation d\u2019un vocabulaire tr\u00e8s technique que peu d\u2019hommes ma\u00eetrisent. Pour vous \u00e9viter d\u2019avoir l\u2019air fou, messieurs, nous vous avons d\u00e9j\u00e0 propos\u00e9…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":3573,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"wpb-single-post.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[116],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-3539","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-nouveaux-peres"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nPetit lexique du nouveau p\u00e8re - Tome 2 - Nouveaux P\u00e8res<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Gr\u00e2ce \u00e0\u00a0 ce petit lexique du nouveau p\u00e8re, vous impressionnerez maman et votre entourage...ou pas.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nouveauxperes.com\/petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Petit lexique du nouveau p\u00e8re - Tome 2 - Nouveaux P\u00e8res\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Gr\u00e2ce \u00e0\u00a0 ce petit lexique du nouveau p\u00e8re, vous impressionnerez maman et votre entourage...ou pas.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nouveauxperes.com\/petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Nouveaux P\u00e8res\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-02-15T15:25:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/nouveauxperes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"828\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"465\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Nouveaux Peres\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Nouveaux Peres\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nouveauxperes.com\\\/petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nouveauxperes.com\\\/petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Nouveaux Peres\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nouveauxperes.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/1cd40098df25b9f4520cc101aaf36bf1\"},\"headline\":\"Petit lexique du nouveau p\u00e8re – Tome 2\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-02-15T15:25:53+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nouveauxperes.com\\\/petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":472,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nouveauxperes.com\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nouveauxperes.com\\\/petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nouveauxperes.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2019\\\/02\\\/petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Nouveaux p\u00e8res\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nouveauxperes.com\\\/petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nouveauxperes.com\\\/petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nouveauxperes.com\\\/petit-lexique-du-nouveau-pere-tome-2\\\/\",\"name\":\"Petit lexique du nouveau p\u00e8re - 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