Six little words. A simple sentence. A seemingly banal statement, but one that sums up the spirit of the New fathersnew Fathers, created in 2018, and our essay Papa, lève-toi! published by Éditions Saint-Jean and adapted in audio format for Radio-Canada's Ohdio platform.
"Dad is as good as Mom." Not better, not worse. Just as good. In 2025, this idea should be self-evident in Quebec, the most egalitarian society in North America, proud of its family policies and generous parental leave program.
And yet, every time we use the phrase, it provokes a reaction. Sometimes it provokes laughter or smiles. Sometimes it generates heartfelt applause. Sometimes it provokes objections and debate. All reactions that confirm one thing: we still live in a society where the father represents, in the eyes of many, the second parent.
Proud progress
Let's be clear: when we look at the incredible transformation our family model has undergone in recent decades, we have many reasons to celebrate. Quebec's new fathers are more invested in their family lives than any generation before them.
15 years ago, only 20% of Quebec fathers dared to take paternity leave. Now more than 80% do, a record in the country. The days of the father as provider - that simple authority figure unable to change a diaper - are definitely over. The dads around us are involved in every stage of their children's development, from nursery to graduation. They are first-team players on their parenting teams.
At the same time, without abandoning their duties at home, mothers have taken their place on the job market, thanks in particular to the creation of educational childcare services in the late 1990s. In just 25 years, the employment rate of Quebec women has risen from 65% to around 85%, an increase that is as rapid as it is exceptional. Today, Quebec is the second best place in the world for women to enter the job market, and even THE nation with the smallest gap between men and women in this respect. All the more reason to puff up your chest and proudly brandish your fleurdelisé!
Imbalance and double standard
But we haven't crossed the finish line. The great march towards equality is not over. Despite the remarkable progress that has made Quebec a leading society, we have to admit: a stubborn imbalance persists between the family responsibilities assumed by mothers and fathers. And a gap just as wide - if not wider! - remains with regard to society's expectations and perceptions of both.
When it comes to parenthood, the rule of the double standards still applies. We still regard mothers who do exceptional things as normal, and fathers who do perfectly normal things as exceptional. To save time, we won't go into the full impact of this imbalance and double standard on women. Many books have already been published on the subject. (Sound familiar?)
But what about fathers? On the face of it, the situation may come with certain advantages, starting with the ability to surpass expectations with ease. (Long live easy recognition!) But it also comes with a risk: letting ourselves be convinced that we're not as good. We end up believing that we're doomed to play second fiddle... until our children are old enough to drive a tank. That Mom necessarily knows how to do it better than we do. Because she's a mom and we're "just" a dad. That we are, fundamentally, "the other parent". And, in so doing, we're content to play the role of passengers in the most important project of our lives: the family.
Break the mould, together
First and foremost, it's up to us fathers to break the mold that society sometimes wants to lock us into. It's up to us to take our place. To assume our fair share of family responsibilities. To review our sometimes unbalanced relationship with work. To get involved in all spheres of our children's lives. To challenge conventions and stereotypes. To be fathers who are committed, loving, present and attentive.
The march towards equality has so far been led first and foremost by women. Now it's our turn to take on more leadership, and walk the rest of the way alongside them. For them, for our children, but also for us. Because fathers have everything to gain from building a more egalitarian family model, in which they can fully enjoy the joy of being fathers.
That said, breaking the traditional mold is also a collective responsibility. Every little gesture counts. An educator or teacher who turns to dad, as much as mom, when an issue arises with his child. A supportive employer when a father takes time off work to attend his children's medical appointments. A mother who trusts her partner and accepts his different ways of doing things. Guys who, over a beer, talk openly about their family life and their role as fathers. Everyone involved with young families can make a difference.
A new approach to parenthood
"Daddy is as good as Mommy. Six little words. A simple sentence. An idea that boils down to this: beyond three essential biological functions - carrying a child, giving birth, breast-feeding - women have no specific skills relating to children that are inaccessible to men.
It's a mentality, a way of approaching parenthood, a posture. A posture that we all have the power to adopt. We fathers. And all those around us.
Six little words...that have the power to change the society in which our children will grow up.
