My child is four weeks old. 28 days old. 672 hours (I used the calculator). My girlfriend seems to think I'm doing a great job as a father and spouse. Yet I don't get up at night.
"Oh my! What ungrateful father would leave his girlfriend alone all night with a child barely a month old?"
Me. I leave my girlfriend alone at night. That's how it goes.
I used to get up at night
In the first week of my new life as a parent, I used to get up at night. Firstly, because baby was sleeping in the same room as us, and at the slightest noise I was up, but also because I felt it was my responsibility as a father to get up and... watch my girlfriend breastfeed for 45 minutes.
I sat in the armchair, fighting off sleep while she fed our boy in silence. I'm an efficiency guy, and there was nothing efficient about exhausting the workforce.
My blonde is breastfeeding, I'm sleeping
Drinking. It's the main reason why a newborn under a month old wakes up in the middle of the night crying. We opted to breastfeed, and nature didn't endow me with a breast full of milk. But I read up on the subject to find out how I could help.
In the Mieux Vivre - la Bible guide, among the 15 pages dealing with breastfeeding, a 60-word paragraph addresses the father's role in the process:
I offered my girlfriend an extra hand to put baby to the breast. She gave me a look of panic like: "Oh, my God, I think I've just made a baby with an idiot! I tended to agree with her.
A devoted and far-sighted father
When she gets up at night, my blonde heads for the couch, her favorite spot. Once seated with the child, she must have several items close at hand:
- His milksaver
- A baby blanket
- A wet wipe
- His computer plugged in and open to Tou.tv (we don't have television, we live in the future)
- A pillow
- A full water bottle
- His book
Setting up the nursing station is my job. That's why I make sure everything is ready before I go to bed. When baby breaks, she heads into the living room with him and finds everything she needs. I even slip in the occasional love note like You think I'm asleep? Actually, I'm dreaming of you, my love.
Let's be clear. If anything is missing, I'll come to the rescue.
Changing the diaper between the two breasts
It's a technique developed by my girlfriend. When he wakes up, our child is as hungry as a black bear in springtime. To avoid a crisis, she starts breastfeeding without changing his diaper. The end of the feeding is not the best time to make the switch, as handling the baby excites or angers him, and it becomes impossible to get him back to sleep in less than 30 minutes.
The middle of lunch seems to us to be an ideal time. Completely paf, he often falls asleep on the job after a breast. We take advantage of this to burp him. Then, with a dollop of milk on his chin, he purrs while we change his diaper. This wakes him up just enough for him to start sucking passionately again. Once the second breast is dry, he's paf again and ready to go back to sleep.
Since it's neither before nor after breastfeeding, I don't give my blonde a second's sleep by doing this task. So she's the one who changes the diaper (in 3-4 minutes, because it's a machine).
Let me be clear. If the baby pisses in the face or empties mustard on the changing table, I'll come to the rescue.
Our child falls asleep quickly
My job is to get our boy back to sleep after nighttime feedings. Because that's what can really have an impact on mom's sleep. Except that my girlfriend won't wake me up to put him to sleep if he's already asleep (logical). But he often falls asleep immediately after feeding, without us needing to rock him or bounce him. All my girlfriend has to do is put him to bed. When this happens, I don't get up all night.
Let's be clear. If he's cracking up, bleeding or got the round balls after nursing, I'll come to the rescue. I'll lie down with him on the couch and we'll talk man-to-man until he falls back asleep.
I take over early in the morning
With a good night's sleep in my body, I'm ready to meet family obligations early in the morning. I tidy up the house, prepare dinner, start a load, rock my child and whisper secrets. In the meantime, my girlfriend recharges her batteries and takes a mental load off.
But I don't get up at night...
